The Adventures of PG and Amber: PG and the FBA
by Kaltaka Freehearte
Summary: A witty and humorous fanfic of Sailor Moon, PG and Amber live in the same world as the moon princess and fight the evil space cows from planet Gateway with the power of pudding. Pudding Girl meets up with some very unlikely allies.
1. PG and the FBA Chapter 1

Note: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon and all characters are (c) Naoko Takeuchi and any company that has bought the rights. This is fan fiction only.  
  
The Adventures of Pudding Girl and Amber  
  
PG and the FBA  
  
Chapter 1  
  
Yippie Pudding Girl thought enthusiastically. Another freaking field trip.  
  
PG walked down the hallway of her high school, contemplating her death for her dear animal science teacher. Just as she was leaving her locker, her best friend Amber walked up.  
  
"So are you ready yet?" asked Amber.  
  
"I don't know. You think she'll buy the 'my leg was bitten off by a runaway mental tiger'?" PG asked hopefully.  
  
"Hmmm.. maybe the 'I was attacked by a kamikaze squirrel'," answered Amber.  
  
"Damn!", PG cursed. Moaning, she then focused on how she was going to hide her beloved.. the chocolate pudding. Fortunately, Amber brought out the smuggled empty Jello cup. PG took out the last of her bowl of her beloved.. the chocolate pudding. As soon as the pudding spotted the container it was going to go into, it jiggled violently.  
  
*I'm not going in my rivals' cup!!! No way!!!!* It yelled.  
  
"Too bad! It's clean and it's the only thing we have, so deal with it!" retorted PG. The pudding gave a *harrumph! * before going into the cramped cup.  
  
Walking to the bus, PG prepared herself. "Prepare for amazement, Amber," PG stated dramatically. Amber made a shocked face. They both start running toward the bus, PG getting there first.  
  
"Ms. Serenity! Ms. Serenity! Help! Please! I hurt so bad, I'm gonna hurl!", yelled PG, running up to the bus door and clutching her stomach.  
  
Ms. Serenity pulled away the attendance sheet from her face, a look of worry on her face. "Why?! What's wrong?!" she frantically asked.  
  
"I .. think..I .", started PG.  
  
"Yes? What is it?" hurried Serenity.  
  
"I...think.....I...ug.......I..ATE JELLO!" spit out PG.  
  
The rest of the class on the bus cracked up so bad that falling bodies hitting the floor could be heard from even outside the bus. Amber had trouble looking concerned as well.  
  
"Your not getting out of this field trip yet Ms. Girl. Now get your rear in gear and sit down!!" yelled a frustrated Ms. Serenity. PG reluctantly entered the bus, but stoped at the top step.  
  
Bowing, PG announced "Ladies and Gentlemen! I hope you enjoyed the show! That was titled 'Chase Away the Field Trip Blues with Jello'. $5.95 for tape. I now can say I tried" and bowed once more as the bus erupted into applause. "Thank you! Thank you! You're too kind," she said, making her way to the last empty seat. PG and Amber slumped into a three seater as the bus creaked into first, pulling slowly out of the driveway.  
  
After about ½ an hour of painfull half-consciousness in the beaten-to-a- pulp seats with PG's head bouncing against the window, the crappy bus finally pulled into a unpaved road. It ended at a huge house, a barn, and large pastures. On a little hill in back of the barn, PG noticed a row of what appeared to be dog sheds. The strange thing was that a person seemed to be coming out of one of the wall to wall sheds. PG stopped sight seeing when the bus came to a violent stop after two loud clangs.  
  
At this, the old coot of a bus driver, went berserk, announcing that he was fed up with the blankity blank buses and the blank board of edufraction. Fraction is rightPG silently agreed. The later conclusion was that the 1840's shocks came completely off the bus. And they don't know why? Huh.Go figure thought PG.  
  
PG and Amber got up and off the bus with the rest of the class and walked the rest of the way. PG suddenly veered off one way.  
  
"Where are you going PG?" asked Amber, exhausted.  
  
"I'm going to follow that hunk-a-hunk a burn'n love!" PG answered, chibi- hearts in her eyes.  
  
"You mean that college guy? The black haired one over there?" asked Amber pointing to a really hot guy walking along with the rest of them.  
  
"Oh yeah!" answered PG. Amber stopped her friend and grabbed her by the arm.  
  
"Are you absent minded or something?" asked Amber, a questioning look on her face. PG was momentarily confused, but then remembered Nick.  
  
"That guy is already taken by some blond nitwit with buns, see?" Amber pointed to where the guy stood. PG looked again to see the guy totally falling for the blond clutz giving him ice cream. The blond started to walk along side the guy but didn't get far, tripping over herself and flying into the dirt. A chain reaction of laughter rung throughout the surrounding people. PG looked past the couple, to the cows by the fence. PG couldn't be sure, but she thought that she saw the cows laughing as well. Seeing PG they slowly went back to peacefully grazing. PG nudged Amber.  
  
"Hey, did you see-"  
  
"Welcome to the Super Pro Ace Champion Equitable cow ranch! Around here we just call it the Cow ranch! Gee, I wouldn't have guessed, thought PG My name is Mac Burger, I'll be your guide today," a big, muscular, middle aged, black haired man yelled, walking up to them. He started shaking hands with everyone and finally came to PG.  
  
"So this is the one they call yogurt girl or something?" he asked.  
  
"YOU DARE CALL ME BY MY ARCH ENEMYS' NAME? I TELL YOU, BEWARE THE COLOR BROWN!!!!!" yelled PG. "My name is Pudding Girl" PG whispered, challengingly.  
  
"Good for you!" said Mac and walked on. "If ya'll come this way, we'll give ya the grand tour." He turned on his heel, but in doing so, slipped and fell in cow pies. Everyone turned to Mac, struggling to get up, then to PG.  
  
"Hey, I warned him!" PG explained, throwing up her hands as if giving up on something. That gave the class all the encouragement they needed to laugh their butts off. Mac finally lifted himself off the ground and brushed himself off, chuckling.  
  
"Heh heh. Well, no one perfect. Let's go," starting off in the direction of the barn. Upon entering the barn, PG and Amber almost fell over at the sight of a huge six foot high cow. They also almost passed out at the garbage dump intensified-times-10 smell.  
  
The tour of the barn was basically boring. In an isle of cows there were 25 Holsteins on the left and 25 Jersey's on the right. Mac went on to show how the milk was collected with machines, prize cows, and offered free samples of Lehigh Valley drinks. Then Mac led everyone up a hill to the sheds PG spotted earlier. It turned out to be a single long shed with dividers in between little cute calves. PG immediately went into a staring contest with a spunky Holstein calf. Amber tried to pet one, but like all the rest of the calves, they shied away, but then came back to lick people's fingers.  
  
PG was finally done with the staring contest, quite pleased with herself for winning, started out to explore a bit more. Taking her time, PG walked to the end of the row, investigating each empty stall. Coming to the last one, PG found nothing. Seemingly out of nowhere, Mac appeared.  
  
"What in the hell do you think your doing?!" screamed PG.  
  
"Why Pg, don't you want to know more about cows? The truth?" said Mac, backing PG up against the little stall door.  
  
"What else is there to know?" asked PG, officially not liking what was happening.  
  
"Oh, much more." replied Mac. He suddenly pushed PG into the stall, the door giving away, and PG falling. Backwards.  
  
Shielding herself, PG expected the soft, squishy ground any minute, but it never came. Opening her eyes, she saw the roof of the sheds falling upwards and away. "OOHHH SSSSSSSSSHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIII.......!" 


	2. PG and the FBA Chapter 2

Note: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon and all characters are (c) Naoko Takeuchi and any company that has bought the rights. This is fan fiction only.  
  
The Adventures of Pudding Girl and Amber  
  
PG and the FBA  
  
Chapter 2  
PG awoke to find that she was on a cold metal floor, her cup of her beloved,...the chocolate pudding next to her, unharmed. Sitting up, she found that she would never speak badly about aspirin again. Moaning, PG got off the floor, blindly grabbing the chocolate pudding.  
  
Taking a quick look around, PG discovered a lot of stuff. She was in what appeared to be a space ship. It was a circular control room with multiple knobs, buttons, screens, and levers. PG looked to the pudding for help.  
  
*Don't look at me. You got yourself into this mess. Get yourself out*  
  
"Some help you are," retorted PG, still looking around.  
  
"GOTCHA!!!!" someone yelled as that someone jumped out from the shadows at PG. He ran at PG, and lunged with their arm punching. PG ducked out of the punch, took the guy's arm and flipped him over her back, landing with a thud on the ground. Instinctively, PG took out her beloved, ... The chocolate pudding, and yelled, "EAT PUDDING OR DIE" before smashing the cup in the person's face.  
  
Just as her fist with the pudding reached the correct height for smashing, a voice yelled out to her. "STOP!"  
  
Looking up PG saw a man in a white and black cow patterned robe. "Who are you?" PG asked with an edge to her voice. "We are your followers," he answered simply. Other robed figures came out of the shadows behind the cow robe.  
  
PG realizing that she was obviously outnumbered was silently calculating her escape from the Criminally Insane Reject Central.  
  
"We have been waiting for you, Pudding Girl. You are the only one that can stop an invasion of mutant cows from Gateway to corrupt this world. Please help us. You're the only one that knows the cows' weakness. It's hard to believe, yet it's true," said cow robe in an all-knowing manner. They waited for her expectantly. "And could you release me, ya nutcase?!" came the cry from the robed person under PG. Reluctantly, PG released him. "Look who's talking" retorted PG.  
  
The head Cow robe dude bowed. "Thank you for returning my assistant to me. He is a young and stupid apprentice, yet he is handy. You know about the cows?" asked the cow coat. The apprentice's hood fell off revealing a Calvin Klein model. PG's mouth dropped open, then she quickly shut it. The pudding, jealous, wiggled out *let's leave him being as cute and cuddly as me*  
  
"Uh.yea. I've been fight'n those crazy cows for a while now. What have you got to do with it?" said PG, ignoring the pudding.  
  
"We are the FBA" answered cow coat.  
  
"Like the FBI?" asked PG, now curious.  
  
"No, they're the Iceland division. Where the Forgotten Bustards of America," answered cow coat, "Now, you said you've been fighting the cows for a while? Do you know their secret?" he pressed. PG nodded. She opened her mouth to answer, but then beloved pudding jiggled violently, making PG laugh (which in front of these people is not good).  
  
*DON'T TELL THEM!!!*  
  
Turning around, PG whispered,"Why?? Don't do that!"  
  
*Don't you see? They will use up all the chocolate pudding in the world and you wouldn't want that to happen to li'l old me now would you?*  
  
"So what should I tell them?"  
  
The chocolate pudding whispered instructions into PG's ear. "Oh, that's good!" smirked PG.  
  
"You were going to tell us the secret?" Cow coat pressed. PG opened her mouth once again, but stopped to see one of the screens flicker on to show Amber looking for her.  
  
"Here, I'll write it down for you" said PG grabbing a pen and paper from a nearby hand. She quickly scribbled down the instructions and tossed them over her shoulder. The group of robed people fought over each other to grab it.  
  
"Hey! Do any of you ding bats know how to get outta here?" yelled PG. One pointed to an exit sign over a doorway. PG needed no encouragement to get out of there. Walking out the door, she felt a rush of air and landed face first on the ground right in back of the last stall. Amber walked up.  
  
"Whatcha do'n on the ground?" asked Amber.  
  
"Inspecting the dirt for anything unusual," PG sarcastically replied from the ground. PG got up and explained what happened while going back down the hill.  
  
At the pasture next to the bus, PG ended the story. "It's nice to have people loving you," said PG jokingly.  
  
"There's one thing though. What did you tell them?" asked Amber.  
  
PG shook her head and replied, "Watch the master's work in action" with a twinkle in her eye.  
  
They waited at the fence, when out of no where, 10 men ran out to the field, chasing the terrified cows with a live flapping chicken in one hand and a bottle of vodka in the other. "Ahhh..*sigh* chaos, panic, disorder...my work here is done" said PG.  
  
Till next time... 


End file.
